


Such kinky stories you have there.

by ColorfulReds



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bag End, Books, Fanfiction reading, Horses, Kinky, M/M, Modern Middle-earth, No adventures for now.., Thilbo Baggenshield - Freeform, You know what they read.., no actual smut, wink wink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulReds/pseuds/ColorfulReds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the famous burglar hobbit receives novels from the wizard, it doesn't go well at all..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Such kinky stories you have there.

A knock was heard on the hobbit's door. Bilbo rushed his hairy feet to the door and opened it with a ready smile.

"Uh, special novels.. To Bilbo Baggins." The man in front of the door announces, looking down oddly at the medium-sized box below his feet, then up at Bilbo, quite.. Disgusted, maybe?

But nevertheless, Bilbo kept his smile plastered on his face and signed his initials on the piece of paper that the man handed him.

"Thank you!" The hobbit says and hands the puzzled man the paper and the ink-covered feather pen.

"Go wild." The man mutters under his breath, covering it up with coughs that truly left Bilbo abashed.

Still, the burglar, slash grocer went in his household with the box on both his sleeve-covered arms.

Bilbo huddled around in his dining room. Stacking up each and every small and medium long novels and books on his long table that as he remembers correctly, was filled with food crumbs and dwarves who entered Bag End, spiked with heavy armor and equipment, with the brains of children; messing about with the delicious-looking food that Bilbo served, plate after plate, dish after dish.

Then they were throwing plates, mugs, blunting the knives, and eating scraps or whole foods on the dishes.

Ah, memories.. Bilbo thought to himself, shaking his head slowly. Even still, those troublesome dwarves are quite.. Troublesome.

The hobbit averted his attention back to the empty-looking velvet book on his hands. No author, no title, whatsoever. Even the other books had no titles written in front of it, or at the back even! And Bilbo checked each and every one of those that he stacked on his right and left-hand sides. "Well, that's peculiar."

But even then, he curiously and interestingly opened the book he had on his hands as of now and went on to read the story.

 

**~~~**

 

Bilbo had a mix of pink and red splashed on his cheeks, and he had eyes wide as saucers. He was already finished with two novels, (which he stacked up in the middle of the other two towers that he made earlier). His relaxed and gentle fingers were exchanged by slightly trembling and shaking ones that were obviously caused by these odd books Gandalf gave him.

"Oh dear.." The hobbit gasped and immediately used the side of his fist to cover up his mouth.

Right as he was about to literally launch the object to make a hole in his roof and send it flying to the skies, a knock was heard on the hobbit's door, which still made Bilbo jump.

Loud bashes were being echoed throughout the whole place, which made Bilbo roll his eyes in annoyance. Whoever this person is, he better calm down with his silly smacking!

"Will you stop--Oh! Tho-Thorin, hello." Bilbo stops, his features immediately hardening in a snap at the intimidating,  long-haired, dwarf that stood in front of his beautiful and warm home.

"You're late." The chief-dwarf says flatly, scanning the burglar from head to toe with piercing blue eyes, that undoubtedly made the hobbit weak in the knees. Don't get Bilbo wrong! Thorin truly does look scary, no one can deny that statement! But even someone like Dwalin, (who looks as scary as well), agrees that Thorin Oakenshield is quite the majestic and brave man.

"Uh, yes. Sorry, b-but where are we going exactly?"

"Somewhere where we are  _clearly_ late!" Thorin booms, his temper was growing quick already. Nevertheless, Bilbo jogged off to his bedroom to grab new clothes, and of course a handkerchief if he could come across to one in his closet.

And with that, Thorin was left alone in the burglar's abode. He looked around the things that was on the walls. Pictures and other stuff that Thorin really didn't care about as much. He walked along the halls that snaked around at the whole place. Until, Thorin was left facing the dining room. It was quite empty, no food on the table, but there were towers of books at the side of the table which lead the dwarf stepping over it slowly, with the hint of curiousness in his eyes.

_Thrust. Moaned. Sweated. Thorin. Bilbo..?_

Thorin looked confused. Why would the hobbit read such bawdy things? And probably the most odd thing was that the whole book was based off on Thorin himself, and the burglar. "Burglars these days." The dwarf shook his head slowly and chuckled at the textbooks on the table. He laid down the current book that he took from the right-hand side stack, made it look like it was completely ignored and unmoved.

"Alright! I found a handkerchief! We can get--" Bilbo stopped dead and shocked in his tracks to find the chief-dwarf standing in front of his books.

"Let's go." Thorin orders with a serious and deep voice, bumping the frozen hobbit on his shoulder.

"..Uh, okay, then." He whispers to himself, not much of a reply, really. He took one last look at the dining table and his deepest secret books.

 

**~~~**

 

When the two were catching a glimpse of the other dwarves up ahead, waiting for them, Thorin instructed his horse to slowly pause in his tracks. Bilbo followed.

"Thorin, what..?"

"You have such kinky stories, Master Baggins." Thorin whispered over at Bilbo's ear and strode away, (like a boss!), leaving the burglar confused and once again; frozen in his tracks. _  
_

_Did he seriously just read..?_

"Are you coming, Master Baggins?"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the errors! But hoped you liked it! Leave kudos if you did! ^^


End file.
